we're blogging at a bar
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
