So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
