Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The adults are the big ones right?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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