I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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