I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize