I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
