Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
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being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
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i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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