You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
