I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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