Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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