Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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