Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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