So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
