I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my shit smells like andre
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
