So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
