And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
