i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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