I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
