Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
