shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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