why didn't you poke me back
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
