He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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