Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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