For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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