I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
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