I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
