It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I love having hate sex.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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