after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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