Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
