Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
