just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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