Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
