Dual....:-)
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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