I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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