Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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