That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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