A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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