Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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