i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
