im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
