Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Your cock deserves a montage
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize