I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
