My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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