I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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