we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
