dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm like, not good at living.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
