Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
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Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
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Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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