you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
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It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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