I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
