singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
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They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
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We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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