My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
