I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
