I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I touched a dick in church today
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
