I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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