thus making me awesome and them whores
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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