My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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