good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
