It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
