I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize