No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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