Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
