Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
