i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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